A storm long in coming
by GemmaKat
Summary: Angst, One shot, set after Doomsday possible spoilers: still reeling from his loss, the Doctor turns to an unlikely individual for some honesty, coffee, and a few hard truths. TenthDoctor, OC, no romance.


I awoke with a jolt, my heart pounding as my ears strained for that familiar noise; a noise that had shaken me forcibly from my sleeping state. Rain strummed against the window and my racing heart began to slow. Pushing my sleep tousled hair out of my eyes, I swung my legs from the bed and peered out from behind the veil of my curtains. The sun was just beginning to rise through the gloom of a thundery sky. As if on queue, lightning flashed bright overhead and I felt as if the storm had been long in coming. Feeling oddly melancholy, I returned to my bed and pushed all thoughts from my mind as I settled down to sleep.

Later that morning, with the rain still pouring down, I opened a fresh pack of coffee and inhaled the bitter-rich scent. Pulling down the grinder from a high cabinet, I became aware of a noise just out of hearing. My body tensed and I sighed in frustration at my silliness. I knew, almost certainly, I'd never hear that particular noise again. I was wondering at my sudden obsession with it when a knock sounded at the door. Freezing briefly in shock, I shook myself and went to answer the knocking. When I opened the door, part of me wasn't surprised to see him there. Him, the Doctor, the Timelord, who last time I had met had, quite literally, turned my whole life upside down. But that was in the past (though, wasn't that all relative to him?) and now here he stood, on my doorstep, rainwater dripping from his nose and hair onto my front mat.

I stood back to allow him in before I'd really thought about what that might mean. He moved past me quietly, shoulders slumped and head low, like a dog slinking home after running loose, knowing it was in for trouble. I peered out of the door into the rain before closing it, wondering briefly where his companion was. Turning back to him, I led the way into my tiny living room and watched him silently. He still hadn't said a word and my curiosity was beginning to get the better of me. Taking a breath, about to speak, he interrupted my thoughts.

"Sam. Samantha."

My name. That was all. I frowned, taking in his rumpled suit, the dark circles beneath his eyes, and the hang-dog expression on his face. Even his hair seemed limp and melancholy. Sighing, putting aside my feelings for the time being, I went to the hall closet and returned with a warm towel, handing it to him silently as I steered him towards the couch. I pointed over my shoulder to the kitchen.

"You interrupted me making coffee. You want some?"

He peeked out from beneath the towel, that same sad expression on his face looking somehow ridiculous with a pink towel encasing his head, and nodded.

"Please."

Hmmm, politeness, this couldn't be good, I thought as I returned to making coffee. Scooping the beans into the grinder, I mentally chastised myself for my cynicism. Clearly something was wrong but I was finding it hard to care. The Doctor and I were not exactly friends, and my first encounter with him had ended in a screaming match. I wasn't good with arrogance and he wasn't used to being challenged. Not to mention my general disdain for alien races who like to play god with us mere mortals. . . .

I shook my head. But we'd set that aside to save my planet from a more threatening invasion and we'd parted on speaking terms, each of us a little relieved to be rid of the other. And now he was here, looking as if his whole world had come crashing down around his ears. I wondered if he'd somehow gone too far this time.

Pouring the freshly ground coffee into the machine, I set it to brew before returning to the living room, standing in the doorway and crossing my arms, watching him silently. He still sat there, arms resting on his knees, head down and hanging, sneakered feet pointing towards each other, pidgeon-toed. I knew he was aware of my presence but still he didn't speak. I was surprised at how little this annoyed me, perhaps sensing a sadness in him that could move even a bitter shrew like myself. And so we stayed like that, a silent awkward tableau, until the coffee was ready.

I brought it in on a tray, with cream and sugar in small chipped bowls. Like a robot he fixed his drink before sitting back into the couch. I mused that he looked so much smaller than I remembered him as I loaded my coffee with cream.

He sipped his own drink and then sighed, raising troubled eyes to mine.

"I wanted to go to someone who I knew wouldn't lie to me. Wouldn't spare my feelings."

I wrapped my hands round my mug and gave him an assessing look.

"What's going on, Doctor?"

He shook his head, eyes closing briefly as if he were in pain, before returning my gaze. He looked suddenly old and for some reason that made my blood run a little chill.

"Am I selfish?"

The question threw me off balance.

"Excuse me?"

He sank deeper into the couch, his lower lip jutting out slightly as if pouting as his eyes darkened with tumultuous thought.

"Am I selfish to bring along companion after companion? Do I ask too much of them? Too little?"

I put down my mug and crossed my legs, frowning slightly.

"Has something happened to Rose?"

I thought I saw him flinch but later I wondered if I'd imagined it. He shook his head, seeming unwilling to speak. As the silence stretched on, I returned to my drink, allowing the sweet warmth of it to settle my mind. Finally feeling as if my thoughts were in order, I spoke.

"Last time we met, I accused you, of all the Timelords, of playing god. I've had a lot of time to think since then and it makes a little more sense to me now."

I pushed a stray lock of hair behind my ear and glanced out of the window at the rain that continued to pour down onto the world.

"There's so much you have to _do,_ so much you have to see, and all the while these rules, rules that can't always be articulated to those of us who don't do your work, are weighing down on you. Changing you. You have so much responsibility to every creature you encounter, and yet. . .. . you can't save them all."

I looked at him.

"Do I think you're always right? Hell, do I think you're always as right as _you_ believe yourself to be? No. But I do think you'd never knowingly put someone in harms way, and I do know you loved her. And so does she."

He looked away then, his adams apple bobbing noticeably as he swallowed. I wasn't surprised when he stood abruptly, thanking me for the drink as he hurried to put on his coat. He was already out of the door when he turned, his face tilted down to mine, looking suddenly tall again to me as I gazed up at him.

He opened his mouth as if to thank me but I waved a hand, offering a lopsided smile. He smiled back now, though it seemed a little sad. The rain starting to soak him once more, I reached up and brushed a drop from off his cheek, allowing my hand to linger on the warmth of his face for just a moment.

"Feel free to stop by again, Doctor. Coffee is always on."

He nodded, squeezed my hand, and then strode towards the Tardis, coat dark with rainwater and flapping in the breeze. And then that noise that had woken me on so many nights filled my head as the Tardis faded away into time.

I stood at the door and stared out into the rain long after he'd gone. Despite being filled with a deep melancholy as I remembered the sad hang of his head and the hopeless look in his eyes, I felt as if I'd made an ally in the tumultuous nature of time. And so had he.


End file.
